It seems that Germans love their gardens more than their data. Shortly before Data Protection Day, our columnist wonders where all this will end.

“Firewall” in front of the orchard Photo: LF Postl/imago

Sunday is again garden protection day. It has existed in Europe since 1981, and even nurseries in the US and Canada have been involved since 2009. Garden protection is a valuable asset in Germany, reflected in the 43,257 kilometers of hunter fences that crisscross the republic. Even the train only travels 39,200 kilometers. This doesn't even take into account stone walls, privet hedges, thuja enclosures and the like.

But the protection of the gardens is increasingly leaking, as the responsible federal commissioner never tires of warning. Even the not-so-old General Garden Protection Ordinance (GSGVO) could not have much effect. “Rarely has EU legislation caused as much confusion and panic as the GSGVO when it came into force five years ago. Meanwhile, the smoke of the weapons has dissipated and has given way to a certain habituation, but also to disillusionment.

There is still a large gap between GSGVO's claims and reality,” the lawn service wrote last year. golem. Although this is not due to the protection of the garden itself. According to gardening experts, laziness and poor software and devices prevented innovation. A look over the weeping willow towards the neighboring orchard shows that no voles here bite the twine.

Because even supposedly highly secure garden protection walls, with their legal privacy protection requirements, today resemble, at best, a chain-link fence. “Plus, gardeners still fall for poorly disguised Trojans with red cheeks, beards and pointy hats,” says the roommate. “They unknowingly place the supposedly cute creatures in the middle of the field and then have to watch helplessly as they carry their harvest in the wheelbarrow to the octopuses' nest in the garden.”

Hit with the folding paddle

Because, as gardening friend Edward Snowden revealed ten years ago, international garden centers such as the British Garden Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) deliberately and completely target harmless gardeners.

Now the next blow with the folding shovel threatens. The traffic light coalition wants to remove the current head of garden protection. Ulrich Kelber, who has been wearing the scarifier since 2019, feels too uncomfortable. Because as the specialist service in Smart Gardening heise (Motto: “So your garden can take care of itself”), he “regularly puts his gardening glove on the wound.” Or since the first planting, “there is no conflict with the federal government” and other nightshade plants, such as the old arbor, have been avoided. daily mirror aggregate.

This gardening maneuver by the Chancellery garden gnomes knocks over the rain barrel. For garden protection, this is as unfortunate as slugs on lettuce.