It is said that natural authority and leadership qualities are trained while cow whispering. Our author tried.
Does the “appreciative approach from the boss’s position” work in this area? Photo: Nikita Teryoshin
Cattle are wonderful animals. “All good things,” Friedrich Nietzsche acknowledged in one of his philosophical works from 1878, “have something casual about them and lie like cows in a meadow. But the hundred or so Angus cows I have to deal with this afternoon.” They are not actually resting quietly in the grass. They stand with their legs spread out in the landscape and stick their rear ends out towards me. Will I fail as a cow whisperer?
At the end of the day, a complete professional prepared me for this situation. Wilhelm Schäkel, a tall man in his 50s, is not a city dweller like me, but he grew up on a farm. He studied philosophy for 15 semesters, five times longer than me. However, he wrote his doctoral thesis in agricultural sciences. And for more than two decades he has been raising Angus cattle on the Zempow organic farm, almost 100 kilometers northwest of Berlin. His workshops are attended by pastors, farmers and people outside the countryside, such as managers, department heads and other stressed city dwellers. Shackle is not surprised. “You can learn a lot from dealing with cows,” he says. Especially about yourself.
Wilhelm Schäkel was one of the first cow whisperers in German-speaking countries. This art is sometimes called “cow communication” and some farmers even offer “cow hugs.” Schäkel's workshops are inspired by the “Low Stress Stockmanship” method developed by American rancher Bud Williams. It is said that Williams had such good control over his cattle that he could even dispense with pasture fences. This approach does not only focus on animal welfare, Schäkel emphasizes. Cow rustling also serves to develop personality: the development of presence, natural authority and leadership qualities. “Many participants discover hidden talents.”
Master Schäkel usually teaches groups of about ten people. But heavy rain was forecast for this afternoon, so there were only three of us: Schäkel himself, the biochemistry student María from Leipzig and me. First we studied theory in the seminar room. Schäkel talks about René Descartes, whose philosophical legacy has led to an “excessively strong emphasis on the intellect” since the 17th century. “Unfavorable for cow rustling,” he says. Because sensory perception is important. But it's not about cuddling, Schäkel clarifies. “You have to tell the cattle who is the boss.” The objective of the workshop is “a speech of thanks from the position of the boss.”
Cows love to punch themselves in the pit of their stomach.
Schäkel draws a cow on the flipchart. Animals focus less on visual cues than we do, so hearing is even more important for them. “When a cow's ear starts to move, it makes contact.” I already knew from the textbook “Understanding Cows” that cattle do not have great vision: On a visual level, they mainly register simple basic patterns, he says. “A bull mounts a rectangle that is in front of him, regardless of whether it is a rubber male at the insemination station or a cow standing in front of him. It is therefore unwise to bow in front of a bull or bow to him.” He lowers his head.
Luckily today we won't have to deal with bulls. However, thousands of incidents involving cows also occur each year. Some are fatal. Things often get complicated when mother cows want to protect their calves. And the cows in the training pasture have offspring.
Fortunately, Angus cattle like the ones Schakel raises are polled. But the course director has bad news: “Horns are not usually the most dangerous thing.” If cows get angry, they “blow with their foreheads.” Preferably in the pit of the stomach. If fear overcomes you in a cow pasture, it is not very beneficial to make yourself small, even if there is no bull present. From the cows' point of view, the human appearance resembles that of a wolf's body and, in general, says Schäkel: “Avoid the language of predators!” This also includes moving furtively or turning your head quickly and abruptly. We learn that cows, unlike predators, when they want to change direction, they usually do not turn their heads first, but immediately turn their entire body.
Let your thoughts calm down
Perhaps the most important thing in cow whispering are “the grounded non-verbal impulses that come from the centre of the body,” explains Wilhelm Schäkel. For example, if you walk back and forth behind a cow, at a medium distance and at right angles to it, that means: Please take a few steps forward. But body and mind must always remain connected. “The whole individual must be in the here and now. Like a cow.”
The cows would feel if we were also present. “Up to 70,000 thoughts go through people's heads every day,” says Schäkel. One of the goals is to put an end to these thoughts. As soon as you start brooding, your presence disappears. “Then animals often lose respect,” says Schäkel. End of the theoretical lesson.
We headed in a jeep to the training meadow, passing through huge grain fields. In one of her workshops, a woman from the village managed to do the trick of “walking in a figure eight” with a cow in the middle of the herd, says Schäkel. “The other animals remained completely calm.” I want to be able to do that too!
Finally we see the first cows in the distance. Master Schäkel now drives in slow motion, rolls down the window and calls out to the magnificent black or light brown animals. “Hey! Heyyyy!” They come within a few metres of the jeep, some of them mooing happily. They are all mother cows with calves, around 120 animals in total. Terrifying, big and powerful. Shortly afterwards I stand on the grass, knees a little weak, and look at the half-wild cows. But no one seems to want to stick their foreheads into my stomach. On the contrary. They have turned around and are showing me their asses. Shameless.
Practice makes perfect
A little ways off is a large cow with black fur and a white spot on her forehead. Maybe I could practice on this cow? I walk behind her as confidently as I can. No reaction.
“When a cow's ear starts to move, it's making contact.”
Hm. I stop and take a deep breath. Dare to get a little closer to the cow and now walk behind it back and forth for shorter distances – the classic marching signal. Again nothing. Hopefully the cow isn’t “screwed up”, I think. Shackle refers to stubborn animals that tend to kick their hind legs due to poor treatment.
Even closer to the cow, I give the starting signal again and she gets up and walks forward. Yes! I am making plans. The next cow should not simply start walking, but should turn around and walk in the opposite direction. As discussed in theory class, I try to give the cattle signals from the centre of their body. In vain. Even when I wave my arms vigorously, the cow obviously only understands the train station. I look at Master Schäkel helplessly. “You are only in your head,” he whispers. “Try to feel what is going on first.”
Couple of dancers among cows
I sigh, rub my eyes and take a few deep breaths. When I look back at the animals, they are suddenly much further away – at least 15 metres away. I didn't even order them to do that. Do they just do what they want? “There is a great need for security,” says Wilhelm Schäkel. “Livestock sense things like that.”
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Later, he gets out of the jeep himself and demonstrates how to gently guide the animals through the pasture. He moves like a couple of dancers, I think, but with a few meters of distance between him and the cow in question.
Next training session: I give it my all, but Schäkel seems unhappy. “Walk more confidently,” he whispers to me from the edge of the pasture. “Don’t sneak around again.” Turning the whole body when changing direction is great. But not like a robot! He should walk more relaxed and keep looking into the distance, over the heads of the cows.
Impulses from the center of the body.
Even my classmate Maria, who seemed shy to me, gets along a thousand times better than me with cattle and manages to lead an entire group to the edge of the forest. I'm glad when none of the animals start hitting my head. Using my “impulses from the center of the body,” I can get two other cattle that are lying lazily on the grass at the edge of the herd to stand up. That doesn't really make me proud. “Patience,” says Schäkel. “Patience”. I don't even bother with the ultimate discipline: walking in a figure eight with a cow, in the middle of the herd.
As we drive back, I look out the back window at the pasture. Angus cattle are quietly grazing in the evening light, even the animals at the edge of the herd have lowered their ears. So their attention is no longer with us.
It was an exciting day out in the country and the weather was much better than expected. But have I discovered any hidden talents? To be honest: no. I probably had a surprisingly good intuition when I decided to study history, and not a career as a cowboy or manager.