Why do men often sit with their legs open on buses and trains? asks one reader. A former man-spreader answers.

Typical scene in the subway. Photo: Sabine Gudath/imago

Dear men, why do you so often sit with your legs open?asks Beatriz S., 44 years old, teacher from Bremen.

Moritz Schiefer, 22 years old, social worker from Vienna, answers:

Today I know that this is called “manspreading” and that it is problematic when cis men naturally claim space in public spaces. Metaphorically, but also physically. I think very few people have an intention behind it; They automatically pick it up from their environment. When I was a teenager, I sometimes sat with my legs spread.

Especially during puberty, you are in a process of discovery and look to others to find your own place in the world. Looking back, images of masculinity played a big role in my boy group. We wanted to distance ourselves from masculinities that were devalued; “Gay,” for example, was still used as a dirty word back then. So we reproduced the movement patterns of men who were considered cold and strong, including a certain way of sitting.

So I never actively thought: I want to occupy this place, I have the right to it. But I didn't feel bad either, sometimes I didn't even notice it. They told me I can and I can do that. On the contrary, girls are often told to sit properly, taught to restrain themselves and not take up too much space. We internalize these things.

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A few years ago, when I was around sixteen, manspreading became a topic on the Internet. I remember videos in which female characters sit with their legs open on the subway. They wanted to show how strange it seems when non-cis men do this. That was a pretty hot topic. He was ridiculed, people asked if we didn't have any major problems. I didn't have a strong opinion on the matter at the time, which also says a lot about my lack of concern. But something got stuck.

After school I started getting involved with feminism. Through my studies in social work, I learned that it is important to ask ourselves who is allowed to take up how much space in society. That it is not a private question of how one prefers to sit, but of the political structures behind it. And that genre is a performance. Now I work in open youth work and try to reflect with young people: What does masculinity mean? What does it mean to be strong?

Even today, when I sometimes find myself sitting a little wider, I just move my legs closer. Arguments that men can only physically sit with their legs apart seem absurd to me. I can cross my legs without any problem. But you have to love it and ask yourself: Am I willing to give up space, get rid of a toxic image of masculinity and appear more reserved?

Hey? Have you ever wondered why other people are like that? Then send your question to verstaendnis@taz.de.