GIs there a greater animal in the office than the shredder? And a better feeling than feeding this beast when its teeth mercilessly chop up the nonsense you had to read whether you wanted to or not? This satisfies the wolfish quality in people much more deeply than the bloodless shoving of an email or presentation into the virtual wastebasket, from which what was not destroyed can be retrieved intact at any time. The only thing that is more fun than watching and listening to the steel jaws of the shredder shredding is setting fire to documents. But that is now forbidden in our offices.

Japanese psychologists have now discovered that the shredder can do even more as a therapist. If you're angry about something or someone, all you have to do is put your anger on paper and then shove it down the electric glutton's throat and you'll feel better.

The coalition agreement in the shredder!

The traffic light must have missed this Far Eastern research result, otherwise the three parties would certainly have turned the coalition agreement into nanoparticles. Because it becomes clear every day that there is hardly a passage in the alliance's founding act that makes all three “partners” happy – but there are many points that annoy at least one of them. So put the thing in the shredder! Nobody sticks to it anymore anyway.

In practice, the coalition members have long since resorted to taking the other parties' pet projects hostage in order to then exchange them for what they hold dear. This is how the trade in rent price controls against the rapid response to data retention (“quick freeze”) came about. In a similar way, the Climate Protection Act and solar funding could also be released from their respective captivity. Because the Greens are still cautious about this exchange, Transport Minister Wissing is threatening to use his atomic bomb, a driving ban. Putin's methods are setting a precedent.

You can't freeze what you don't have

But back to the “Quick Freeze”. Admit it: When you heard the term, you first thought of a quick, dirty deal with Russia, arranged by Rolf Mützenich, right? And not the sudden freezing of data, which will fail because it is usually not even available. We were on the wrong end of the stick and the FDP let itself be dragged over the cabinet table. Of course, the rent control brake is only as bad as its sister model when it comes to debt.

But if even hot air can be frozen, wouldn't shock freezing be a general solution to the many conflicts in traffic lights? Of course, the freeze would not only have to happen quickly, but also last for a long time, i.e. at least until after the federal election next year. And hardly anything lasts long with this coalition, especially not the truce.

At least one percent of the population

But the aim here is not to give the impression that the traffic light doesn't do anything or only does something insignificant. With the self-determination law that has finally been passed, the Scholz government has secured a place in the history books: it has made the change of name and gender entry easier and faster than anyone before it. Many will be grateful to her for that. At least one percent of the population benefits from the new quick change – a quickie in the registry office is enough.

At least. Because the unusually unanimous enthusiasm of the traffic light – who often doesn't know whether she is a man or a woman – for the new self-determination options could also give established men and women the idea of ​​trying out the opposite sex. The change should be possible every three months. However, you can only vote for another party every four or five years. Well, every few months most angry citizens probably wouldn't want to go to the polls. But you should at least get the ballot paper back after you cast your vote. You know what for.